Love Is...

Love does not always look the way we think that it should.  Most women enjoy a nice sappy, romantic “chick flick”.  It is so very easy for us to get caught up in how romantic and loving the leading men tend to be.  They usually make some huge display of love or even lots of them.  Or within just a few short hours of a movie they crack open their hard shell and jump into love.  All of these things add up to a good romantic movie and entertain us, but in real life love isn’t always shown so obviously.

Please don’t misunderstand, my husband loves me so very much, but his way of showing love is so very different than anything I see in the movies.  It has taken me longer than I’d really like to admit to really see just how much my husband loves me because I have been caught up in looking for the big romantic gestures.  But God made my husband uniquely different.  Once the Lord began to show me the ways in which my husband does show me love, it was an awesome and truly eye opening experience. 

Love isn’t always flowers, romantic dinners, moonlit strolls and all the other clichés that we always assume means we are loved.  It can be standing in Wal-Mart for an extra half hour (a little annoyed at the time) while he researches that vacuum on his phone to make sure that I am not just getting one, but getting a good one!  It’s helping me rearrange my living room a million times until I am happy, because he liked it 20 times ago.  It’s bringing me a Dr. Pepper when I have had a bad day, because that fixes everything.  When he gets my favorite whatever at the grocery store, where he just went shopping so I didn’t have to drag everyone out.  It is when he watches the girls while I go do something alone, so that I can re-charge.  It’s trying to let me sleep in from time to time.  It’s when he remembers something I said I wanted six months ago and gets me the perfect birthday or Christmas present.  It’s that he knows me so well it takes me by surprise. 

So while I do get those obvious gestures of love, the best ways in which my husband shows me his love is not only in those obvious ways.  The most amazing ways I am showed how much I am loved are actually in the seemingly small everyday things that happen!

My encouragement this Valentine’s Day is to take a moment to reflect on your spouse.  Let the Lord show you all the “small” ways you are being shown love each and every day.  Really let yourself see what the Lord is showing you.  He may bring something to mind and your first instinct is to look at that instance as just a normal thing that always happens.  That is the beauty of it, God created us all so differently, it could just look like some quirky thing because that’s who we are.  I mean when we were standing in Wal-Mart while Steven was dutifully researching the vacuum, I admit at the time I was kind of annoyed and just thought, let’s buy this thing and move on!!  It was probably a few weeks later that I realized he wasn’t doing that to make sure money was spent wisely; it was his way of saying I love you and I want to make sure this will work for you. Turns out that vacuum was truly remarkable. So truly pay attention, the smallest and seemingly insignificant things could just be the most significant ways you are being told I love you!!

Setting the Example

As I sit and watch my children swinging.  And as I observed my now four year old riding her first bike on our walk earlier, I seriously wonder where all this time has gone.  I know I was there every day of their lives, minus a few spent with grandparents of course.  But it still seems like it was only yesterday that I had a newborn (now 2) and a 2 year old (now 4).  At that stress induced time, I really wondered how longed those days would last.  I really couldn’t wait for them to be over.  Sure I had moments where I felt blessed.  But over all I just felt overwhelmed.  I didn’t like when people told me how precious these days are.  All I could think was come live in my shoes for a minute.  I really spent so much time wishing for them to grow up, even just a little, so I could have a minute to breathe.  Even now I still have thoughts like that.  People tell me how precious and sweet my girls are and I think you don’t have to live with them all of the time.  But I am beginning to see how I really am missing it.  I mean they are still young and learning.  Of course they will make messes, get into stuff they shouldn’t, fight, cry, and whine; generally do every single thing I wouldn’t want them to!  I have expected them to behave as though they know all the things I know and to be thinking the way I do.  And even as I type that sentence it seems so ridiculous that I would think that!  How could I ever expect two little girls to know everything I do?  How could I expect them to control their anger, when I don’t control mine very well?  How do they know to keep their rooms clean when I don’t?  How can they learn to respect each other when I don’t respect them?  They are a reflection of me, ouch!  They are around me 99 percent of the time, so where do I think they pick up all these attitudes and habits?  Where else?  Me!!  I should be the one who is teaching them what the fruits of the spirit really look like; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Sure I have my awesome mom days, but over all I am not setting a good example of these things at all.  I definitely make sure their basic needs are met, but I fail to go much deeper than that.  I get so caught up in trying to make it through the day.  I don’t think that every single day I could do perfectly, but that’s always where teaching them to have grace on forgiveness would come in handy.  I think a good day is everyone ate well, actually put clothes on (not just stayed in jammies) and we didn’t fight about everything.  I know I have thought a lot that I would not want my kids to be like me.  But in the end, I really can’t just hope that somehow they will learn all of these things magically.  I have to be the one to step up and show them how to live.  Not to just float through life trying to do as little as necessary each day.  I want them to truly live life.  I want them to exhibit the fruits of the spirit in their daily lives.  I want them to love, I want them to know joy, to have peace no matter what the circumstance, to have patience with others and with the Lord, to be kind to everyone, to be good people, to be faithful to the Lord and to anyone they are in relationship with, to have a gentle spirit and to exhibit self control.   The Lord has entrusted me with two very special gifts and I have spent so much time seeing them as a hindrance in my own life.  In a world where everything is at our fingertips and it gets so easy to compare ourselves with everyone else, I want my girls to be so much different.  I want them to be confident in whom they are and not worried about who they are not!  But first, I have to show them how to live like that.  I have to walk as a confident woman.  I have to take the time each day to teach them.  I need to keep my eyes open in order to see the opportunities for those teaching moments.  It is imperative that I quit letting the days go by, and learn how to truly live each day!

Returning

I’m sitting here knowing that it’s been way too long since I’ve sat down to write.  While I’ve been busy doing something that is important, taking care of my girls, that’s no excuse to quit doing something the Lord has told me to do.  I want to just beat myself up for letting this go on for so long, but I know that’s really not helpful.  And I just realized it’s been over a year since I have written anything.  I have used so many excuses during that time, Morning sickness, pregnant with a toddler, newborn and a toddler.  However, I have made time do to other things.  I certainly have had time to watch television or see what everyone else is doing via Facebook.  All I know to do at this point is to just pick up where I left off and do my best to be obedient to the other things the Lord has called me to do.  He definitely called me to be a mom and has blessed me to be able to stay at home.  But that is not all He is asking of me, I am to write.  Something I have stayed away from doing in any form.  I cannot put this off or ignore it any longer.  The desire He has given me is way too strong.  So I am back, whatever that might mean.  It’s really still a struggle to see myself as being a writer.  I would have never in a million years thought this is something I could be good at.  I often wonder what I could have to say that would mean anything to anyone, but once again I have to remember to just step out in faith and trust in the Lord, knowing that if this is something He has called me to there is a reason.  And honestly every time I just sit down and write when the Lord tells me to, I get revelation! 

And in an instant He gives revelation again!  As my daughter bails over the arm of the chair (again), hitting her head on the side table and I begin to comfort her, I am reminded how childlike we are.  Just like I want the best for my daughter, He wants the best for me.  I might do some stupid things, ignore the rules or be cautious of new experiences, but at the end of the day He loves me through it all.  He encourages me to do things that I am unsure about, but He can see the big picture and knows that these things are for my growth and maturity.  I discipline my daughter so that she will learn and grow, not because I have nothing better to do.  I guess I have a better understanding of that thought, it’s not fun for me to discipline, but it is extremely necessary.   I can see the consequences of things my daughter wants to do, or doesn’t want to do.  She does not fully understand that if she keeps bailing off the arm of the chair she will hit her head over and over again.  That is why I have to step in and teach her, okay discipline her.  Also why I need to encourage her in other areas that are new experiences to her.  I know that if she’ll just take a bite, she might love this food, or encouraging her to potty so she can grow and not be in diapers forever.  I am a child of God and I need to trust not only the times of discipline, but also trust the desires he puts into my heart, these things are for my good, even though I may not see all the reasons why.  And for me right now, that means I have to trust him with writing, knowing that He sees the big picture and there is a great reason.  So I will do my best to be obedient and wait to see what He sees!

Heart Checks

I was reading Matthew chapter 15 today.  Versus 17-20 spoke to me. 

Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.  These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man.

Before these verses, the Pharisees came to Jesus asking why his disciples break the tradition and do not wash their hands before they eat bread.  Verses 17-20 were the explanation to his disciples.

 I began to think about the fact that what is in my heart comes out of my mouth.  But I quickly wanted to quit thinking about that.  However, even dwelling on those things for a moment, gave me a good gauge of some areas that need attention.  We truly need to pay attention to what we are saying.  Obviously thinking before speaking would be the best, but since we do not always do that, thinking about what we have said is the next best.  If we will allow ourselves to take time to dwell on our words, the Lord will be quick to show us what needs to change, and hopefully once revealed we will be quick to repentance.   Taking the time to allow the Lord to show us things we have said will help us to continually keep our hearts in check.  If we can make these heart checks a habit, there should be fewer things to change.    This will get our hearts into a healthy place, allowing the Lord to shine even brighter through us.

A More Excellent Way

The Lord led me back to 1 Corinthians 13 today.  I have heard and read this so many times, it’s like blah blah blah.  Really?  Why do I so easily dismiss the word of the Lord no matter how many times I have read it?  That was the first blow.  But I read it again.  Then I read the chapter before, because it matters to see what has been happening before we got to this point.  I saw something interesting.  Chapter 12 is about spiritual gifts, that we all have different ones and are to play a different role in the body.  The very last verse in chapter 12 “But earnestly desire the greater gifts.  And I show you still a more excellent way”.  More excellent than any of the gifts He has given to us?  LOVE! 

1 Corinthians 13               

    ¹ If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.    ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.    ⁸ Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part; ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. ¹³ But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

This really just hit home today.  I really saw this chapter, love is more important than even the giftings He has given us.  Above anything else we are to love.  I think we tend to take love lightly.  The word in greek for love in the above passage is Agape, and is set apart from Eros – romantic love and Phileo – brotherly love. 

Agape love is sacrificial and not based on our feelings, but rather a determined act of will.  It is about putting others above ourselves.  This is obviously not something that comes easy to us; we must look to the source of love, God.  He is love and only He can show us how to love like He does.  We must look past the faults of others and be determined to show them love no matter what. 

I want this in my life.  I want to learn to love more and better.  I want to take this more seriously, Love is important!  Without love, I am nothing!

Am I willing?

Willing – cheerfully consenting or ready.  As I continue to read Amos, the Lord reminded me that Amos was not a “prophet”.  Amos was a shepherd that the Lord called up to prophesy.  However, Amos was willing to allow the Lord to use him to speak to Israel as a prophet.  The revelation to me through this was not that the Lord can give us the gifts that we need for a specific purpose or time.  But my revelation was that we focus too much on what we are going to do with our lives.  In most aspects of our lives is seems right to have 5, 10, 20 year plans.  The question I have is why would I do that when I am not even guaranteed tomorrow?  I am not necessarily against preparing and making plans, but I wonder if we have just put too much emphasis on doing that.  I have seen the Lord completely redirect people’s paths.  They went to college to do what they felt they were supposed to do and now they are in a completely different “career” path.  I know that what they started out doing was not wrong, it was what they were to do for that time.

We need to be willing to allow the Lord to change our paths, our minds, and our hearts.  We need to be open to something different that the Lord would have us do.  We should continue to keep the Lord as our main focus so that we can listen to His voice and follow where He leads.  I know for me, right now, I am supposed to be focused on being a wife and a mom.  I honestly cannot think of anything else I want to do, because this is what the Lord has called me to now.  I am not worried about what I will be doing in five years; I am concerned with what I need to be doing now.  The Lord could speak to me in the next five minutes and give me a different direction to go in.  So, I need to be willing to do whatever that may be.  The Lord has made me a prophet, but that doesn’t mean He won’t use me to be a pastor, teacher, apostle, or evangelist for a time.  I want my eyes to be open and my heart to be willing to what the Lord  will have for me today, tomorrow and in 20 years.

He Won't Relent

As I was reading Amos 4-5 today, the Lord brought back to mind something I was thinking about a while ago. 

Basically the Lord was speaking to Israel (his chosen) recounting all the things He had put them through to get them to return to Him, this wasn’t just a few not fun things to go through, it was plagues,  draught, famine, destruction etc.  The Lord was doing anything and everything He could to get those who belong to Him to return to Him.  They had lost their way; they had forgotten who they really were and all about serving the Lord. 

It seems that in our lives today, we have an arrogant attitude.  Honestly I know I have thought this.  The “thought” being that because I am under grace and not the law, I can get away with anything, because we have grace now and we are covered.  We think that the Lord would never put us through anything like He did to the Israelites.  However, I really think that is a definite wrong way of thinking and of living.  I believe that there is a punishment, or chastening or whatever you would like to call it that makes you feel better.  I have seen what the Lord has put me through in my own life and even heard and seen what He has done in others lives.  I know that He will do whatever it takes to get us back.  Initially, I think that is so awesome that the Lord will woo me back to Him.  Which is awesome that He doesn’t give up, however, sometimes I would not call His means of getting us back wooing.  And as I think about things that I may have seen people around me go through and have seen some of what I have gone through, I know that the Lord does not just try to woo us back.  I’ve seen Him take everything away, and I mean everything just to get someone to return to Him. 

We need to begin to live our lives in a healthy fear of the Lord.  We need to realize that just because we are saved and have our way into heaven, doesn’t mean that we can do what we want.  We have to remember who the Lord is.  He makes the sun come up each day, and set each night.  He spoke the whole earth into creation, He knew us before we were in our mother’s womb.  And He will do WHATEVER it takes to get us back, He won’t relent!