I’m sitting here knowing that it’s been way too long since
I’ve sat down to write. While I’ve been
busy doing something that is important, taking care of my girls, that’s no
excuse to quit doing something the Lord has told me to do. I want to just beat myself up for letting
this go on for so long, but I know that’s really not helpful. And I just realized it’s been over a year
since I have written anything. I have
used so many excuses during that time, Morning sickness, pregnant with a
toddler, newborn and a toddler. However,
I have made time do to other things. I
certainly have had time to watch television or see what everyone else is doing
via Facebook. All I know to do at this
point is to just pick up where I left off and do my best to be obedient to the
other things the Lord has called me to do.
He definitely called me to be a mom and has blessed me to be able to
stay at home. But that is not all He is
asking of me, I am to write. Something I
have stayed away from doing in any form.
I cannot put this off or ignore it any longer. The desire He has given me is way too
strong. So I am back, whatever that might
mean. It’s really still a struggle to
see myself as being a writer. I would
have never in a million years thought this is something I could be good
at. I often wonder what I could have to
say that would mean anything to anyone, but once again I have to remember to
just step out in faith and trust in the Lord, knowing that if this is something
He has called me to there is a reason. And
honestly every time I just sit down and write when the Lord tells me to, I get
revelation!
And in an instant He gives revelation again! As my daughter bails over the arm of the
chair (again), hitting her head on the side table and I begin to comfort her, I
am reminded how childlike we are. Just
like I want the best for my daughter, He wants the best for me. I might do some stupid things, ignore the
rules or be cautious of new experiences, but at the end of the day He loves me
through it all. He encourages me to do
things that I am unsure about, but He can see the big picture and knows that
these things are for my growth and maturity.
I discipline my daughter so that she will learn and grow, not because I have
nothing better to do. I guess I have a
better understanding of that thought, it’s not fun for me to discipline, but it
is extremely necessary. I can see the consequences of things my
daughter wants to do, or doesn’t want to do.
She does not fully understand that if she keeps bailing off the arm of
the chair she will hit her head over and over again. That is why I have to step in and teach her,
okay discipline her. Also why I need to
encourage her in other areas that are new experiences to her. I know that if she’ll just take a bite, she
might love this food, or encouraging her to potty so she can grow and not be in
diapers forever. I am a child of God and
I need to trust not only the times of discipline, but also trust the desires he
puts into my heart, these things are for my good, even though I may not see all
the reasons why. And for me right now,
that means I have to trust him with writing, knowing that He sees the big
picture and there is a great reason. So
I will do my best to be obedient and wait to see what He sees!
